From My Heart to Yours: I'm Sorry

Hi.

I've been meaning to reach out to you...

Come clean on what's been going on...

I ...I really don't know where to start...

Guess the best part is the beginning

Or may be the end because

The middle may not make any sense

Long and short of it all is

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for being gone for so long

For being so quiet

I know this may sound cliché

But it's the truth...

The problem was not you

It was me... 

And the matter was beyond my control.

Somewhere along our beautiful journey  

My foot got tangled and

I got trapped in an engulfing dark cloud

How it happened,

I do not know.

It was like an invisible tactical rogue

Whose sole role was 

To keep me knocked down and captive...

And this he did to perfection.

The more I tried to wiggle free 

The tighter the hold became

I'm sorry to say...

Embarrassed to admit...

As much as I tried,

I wasn't quick or swift enough

To make a clean get away

I wasn't strong enough...

To fight off the hold he had on me

Believe me- I tried

Fought with my mind...but it didn't work

Fought with my spirit...still didn't work

Put in some physical muscle but nothing!

Twas like trying to get a Sumo warrior off my back

I couldn't! I simply could not! So what did I do?

I...I...slowly gave in to captivity

I let loose the concept of freedom 

And gave in to my present reality

I stopped trying to fight 

Tried to understand the purpose of this particular journey

Through it all a repetitive message kept playing

"Be still amidst the storm and wait on your Redeemer"

Still I tried to be...

It wasn't easy because instinct would persuade me 

To take another shot at fighting for freedom

But it was clear that I couldn't free myself 

My redemption could only come from without...

From a Being greater than me, superior to me, 

Able to withstand and overcome all forces that held me captive

Able to support and oh so delicately maintain this feeble frame...

And in time He came...not in my time...but in His.

Slowly but surely He loosed my foot from the tangle...

He cleared away the dark engulfing clouds

And put the Sumo warrior down

Redeemed me from captivity

Worked to bring healing where cuts and bruises were

Slowly but surely my freedom became a reality

Realized only in Him.

So, that's why I went under that radar...

I'm sorry it happened

But glad all the same for it birthed something new

Most of all

I'm glad that I can now reach out to you.

My desire is for us 

To pick it up from where we left off

Take it to the next level 

All I request 

Is that you bear with me...

Bear with me as I fit my pieces back together

As I regain myself to where I was

Where we were

Grow to where I should be

Where we should be.

Through it all

Always know that I remain committed to you, to me ...to us

To this, our beautiful journey that we started, together...

To that which awaits us yonder

Kindly grant me grace and patience

Through this part of the journey

For it isn't easy

But rest assure with my Redeemer

And your support

We will eventually make it through

And then you and I

Can take it to the next level.

Alright?