I Was Just Wondering...

Hi God,

I was just wondering... why did You create humans,

More personally...why did You create me?

Why would You want to be a Father to me or to us humans?

Unlike us, you can see the past, present and future...

Knowing fully well the outcome; our fall, 

The hurt and ruin we would cause You, that I'd cause, 

You still proceeded to create us, to create me? Why?

You know how our hearts are, especially after sin came,

How fleeting our emotions, desires and commitment can be,

How unfaithful, ungrateful, and stubborn we can be,

Yet you still chose and choose to not only create us but 

To offer your love and, the very best of You...why?

Quick to wander, we are, and I too do,

Quick to forget, we are, and I too do,

Quick to complain, we are and I too do...and yet,

You still lend me breath...You still give me an opportunity 

To be and to possibly see tomorrow...why?

Sometimes, I think that You could have, or should have chosen...

Different...You know, invested Yourself and Your Love, 

In what my little mind perceives, 

To be a more worthwhile relationship...You know,

Where You are truly loved and appreciated as You deserve...

I don't think we, better still I, am doing such a great job so far...

Where the commitment is always fully reciprocated,

Where the expression is consistent and long -lived,

Where there is perfect trust, fearlessness and confidence...

not that that I could ever give enough...I mean Your scale vs mine...

Who can love or care as as perfectly as You do?...

Is that even remotely possible?

It would be awesome if we humans, 

If I, could love you entirely, like You do me, even if...

My entirely never fits your majestic scale and expression. 

Hopefully, in the game of ratios it could match, sort of,

Your endless devotion for my inconsistent but endless attempts 

To stay true to You...How do You do it and not give up? 

How do You manage our, my: ungratefulness, unfaithfulness, 

Half-heartedness, hate, doubt, indiscipline...

How are you able to still extend Your invitation of salvation,

Of  love perfected, forgiveness, mercy, grace;

Not forgetting Your abundant blessings?

Funny, look at this, me the created asking You the Creator...

I guess that's why You are God and I am not...

Not that I would ever want to be, Your shoes are too too big

For me to ever even imagine, let alone consider, filling,

Is that why you put us in families, allow us to be 

parents, teachers, mentors, siblings, shepherds or stewards?

To sort of understand You and the sacrifices You make...

To teach us how to extend more of ourselves to You and to Others

To learn as You shape us to be more like You?

To perfect this our imperfect relationship,

As we journey through the ups and downs of life?

I ask to understand, if it is even possible to fathom

The magnitude of it all...or perhaps

 I'm just thinking out loud...

Trying to make sense of it all...You, Me, Us...

The purpose of it all, and if I, 

Would ever be fully willing and able,

To fully walk Your mile, apply it all,

As You see fit, in my tiny shoes ... hmmm

Anyway, thank you for listening and granting me audience...

For letting me share even if incoherently,

For letting me lay it all before you...

Yours imperfectly,

-Me-